Effective
communication is about building and maintaining relationships, we need to
choose our words wisely. "Words to use…Words to lose" simply
facilitates a stronger, more positive emotional vocabulary.
Emotional
impact
As
we carefully choose words and phrases, it’s a good idea to keep in mind that in
addition to words having dictionary definitions (their denotations), words also
have connotations, which is their emotional impact.
For example, have you ever noticed that successful real
estate agents sell homes rather than houses?
A house by nature has no personality, is
cold, sterile and devoid of love. Conversely, a home is a warm and loving
place, where cookies are baked and where you would find huge piles of laundry
waiting to be done. Home gathers its
considerable emotional power for the simple reason that it is inhabited in a
way that a house is not.
"Bear
with me" is a
phrase that is loaded with attitude since it suggests that either speaker or
listener is rushed, incompetent, or arrogant. Why? Because here’s how it
sounds: "I’m a know-nothing . . .
I’m obviously not good at my job, won’t you please have the supreme patience to
wait while I go through the laborious and all-too-lengthy process of finding a
yellow sticky note upon which to leave your message…" or "My process
is much too complex for you to understand…and you are so wasting my time, hang
on…."
A good replacement for "Bear with
me" is "One moment please" or"I’ll be right with you."
Even better, follow the phrase with a specific description of what you’ll do to
help the person.
For
example, "One moment please while I locate your records, Mr.
Jones." By including these
details you indicate to Mr. Jones that you’ve heard his request. And by
personalizing the message by including his name you have circumvented the sort
of "next please" robotics which defines lousy communications.
"No
problem" is another fixable favorite.
Although this phrase intends to convey the
idea that a person is capable of handling a situation, all the listener hears
is the word "problem." Curiously, this expression is being introduced
by the very person asked to provide a solution to the request.
Good alternatives? "Glad to be of
help," "Happy to be of assistance," or "It’s my
pleasure." These phrases convey a degree of happiness and excitement, and
guide the listener to believe that a positive outcome is certain.
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