Why Rejection Is More Powerful Than We Think
What if the key to growth, creativity, and courage lay in getting rejected—intentionally and repeatedly? That’s exactly what Jia Jiang did in his famous “100 Days of Rejection” experiment. In his TED talk, “What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection,” he shares how facing “no” over and over again dismantled his fear, rewired his mindset, and opened doors he never expected.
If you’ve ever held back because of fear—fear of failure, of judgment, of being turned away—there are powerful lessons here for you.
The Experiment: Why 100 Days?
Jia Jiang’s central experiment was simple but radical: for 100 days straight, he would ask for things that he expected to be rejected. Some examples:
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Borrowing $100 from a stranger
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Requesting a “burger refill” at a restaurant
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Asking for odd favors or permissions
By doing this, Jiang desensitized himself to the sting of rejection, putting his emotional response under scrutiny. Through repeated exposure, he learned that many “nos” are not personal verdicts, but simply someone’s preference or circumstance. TED-Ed+2TED+2
This approach is rooted in the idea of exposure therapy—facing what scares you until it loses some of its power.
Key Lessons From the 100-Day Journey
Here are the major takeaways you can apply in your own life:
| Lesson | What It Means | How to Apply |
|---|---|---|
| “No” is not the end | Many rejections are not moral judgments—they’re simply limits, preferences, or circumstances. | Ask, expect “no,” and move on. Don’t internalize it. |
| Desensitization works | The more you face fear, the less paralyzing it becomes. | Start small: ask low-stakes questions or make small requests. |
| Ask strong follow-up questions | When someone rejects, ask why. That opens dialogue and insight. | “What would it take for you to say yes?” or “What’s holding you back?” |
| Rejection can lead to opportunity | Some “nos” turn into “yes” or lead to unexpected wins. | Stay open and persistent, even after initial rejection. |
| Transform your relationship with failure | Failure and rejection aren’t enemies—they can be tools. | View rejection as feedback, not defeat. |
In his talk, Jiang emphasizes: “We overestimate how much a rejection will hurt.” TED
Why This Matters in Today’s World
In a world of curated social feeds and polished success stories, we rarely hear about failure, rejection, and persistence. Yet they often lie beneath the surface of every breakthrough.
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Entrepreneurs must face “no” regularly—investors, customers, partners.
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Writers and creators endure rejections from publishers, audiences, critics.
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Leaders and innovators often need to pitch unproven ideas, face skepticism, and keep going.
Jia Jiang’s experiment is a reminder that resilience, vulnerability, and curiosity are essential. His story shows that rejection doesn’t have to be a dead end—it can be a turning point.
How You Can Start Your Own “Rejection Challenge”
If you want to try applying this concept yourself, here’s how:
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Set boundaries — ethical, legal, reasonable requests only.
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Start small — begin with low-stakes asks (e.g. extra sample, small favors).
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Track your “no’s” — document what you ask, the responses, and your emotions.
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Ask “why?” — follow up politely after rejections to learn.
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Reflect regularly — notice how your fear, confidence, and approach shift over time.
You don’t have to go 100 days (though it’s a powerful ritual). Even a week or a month of intentional rejection can reshape your mindset.
Additional Resources:
TED Talk: What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection – transcript (read the full talk) TED
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Rejection Therapy / 100 Days Challenge (background and ideas) Rejection Therapy+1
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Jia Jiang – TED Speaker Profile (learn more about his journey) TED
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“How to Conquer Rejection” – WIRED article (analysis of his methods) WIRED
Embrace “No” as Your Growth Tool
Jia Jiang’s 100-day journey shows us that rejection doesn’t have to be a barrier—it can be a bridge. When you place yourself in situations where “no” is likely, you challenge your own limits, grow your resilience, and uncover opportunities that were hidden behind fear.
So don’t avoid rejection—respect it, learn from it, and use it. Because behind many rejections lies the chance for transformation, discovery, and a bolder life.
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