Have you ever wondered why someone can be labeled “gifted” yet still struggle to meet deadlines, keep track of keys, or hold a steady job? This is the story of what that looks like from the inside. Jessica McCabe shares how a bright childhood gave way to years of setbacks, and how learning her brain changed everything. This post walks through her journey, what ADHD really is, what helps, and how anyone affected by it can move forward with more hope and better tools. If you have, love, teach, or work with an ADHD brain, there is something here for you.
The Brain That Decides Everything
Every behavior you see starts in the brain. Deciding to walk to a talk or ride a bike, showing up early or late, remembering a task or forgetting one, all of it runs through how the brain works in that moment.
Jessica frames her story through that lens. If behavior is affected by the brain, then understanding the brain we have is the most practical step we can take. Her life moved in two distinct phases: one where she was trying to be “normal” and failing, and another where she understood her brain and started to build a life that worked with it.
Why This Story Matters to You
ADHD affects between 5 and 8 percent of people worldwide. That means there is a strong chance you already know someone with it, you work with them, or you love them. Better yet, some of the most effective strategies for ADHD also help the rest of us focus, plan, and follow through.
Have you ever wondered why someone seems smart but struggles?
Everyday choices are brain-driven:
- Walking to an event
- Driving across town
- Taking a taxi
- Biking instead of busing
For more background on the talk format, visit the TEDx events overview on TEDx.
A Gifted Kid with Hidden Struggles
Jessica was a precocious kid. She spoke in full sentences by 18 months. In third grade, she scored at post–high school levels on standardized tests. Teachers saw raw talent and a bright path ahead. On paper, things looked great.
The Flip Side of Brilliance
At the same time, she felt isolated. She didn’t have friends outside of books. She felt easily overwhelmed. She spaced out in class. She lost things all the time. And any task that didn’t interest her felt impossible to hold still for. Trying to focus on boring work felt like trying to nail jello to the wall.
Why No One Worried Then
Because the grades were fine and the test scores glowed, no one thought there was a real problem. The struggle didn’t show up in obvious ways, so it went unaddressed. That shifted in middle school when personal responsibility ramped up.
Early signs that were easy to miss:
- Few close friends her age
- Constant overwhelm in daily tasks
- Daydreaming in class
- Losing items over and over
- Trouble focusing on uninteresting tasks
Diagnosis and the First Big Change
Middle school brought more moving parts. She had to get herself to class on time, keep track of homework, and juggle expectations on her own. Her grades began to slip. A comprehensive evaluation led to a diagnosis: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
What ADHD Really Looks Like
ADHD often shows up in three core ways: inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. Some people lean more inattentive, the spacey daydreamers. Others lean hyperactive and impulsive, the early-diagnosed kids who can’t sit still. Many have a combined presentation.
Jessica’s Experience
Her doctor and parents decided to try stimulant medication. The change was immediate and startling. She described it like putting on glasses and finally seeing clearly. Focus came online. Without changing anything else, her GPA jumped a full point. It felt like a miracle.
ADHD presentations at a glance:
- Inattentive: the “space cadet” profile
- Hyperactive-impulsive: the high-energy kids who get flagged early
- Combined: the most common group, with features of both
Early Wins with Treatment
With focus on board, life began to open up. At 14, she made friends who liked her. At 15, she published her first poem. She started dating. By 17, she had a clear dream of becoming a journalist. She chose a local college with a path to USC, famed for its journalism program.
When Success Slips Away Again
Then things started to unravel. She moved in with her boyfriend and began taking classes. She aced a statistics course, but forgot to register on time, so she got no credit. She took classes to help her boyfriend’s career, and somewhere along the way she lost her own direction. USC slipped out of reach. At 21, she dropped out and moved back home.
A Decade of Setbacks
The next ten years were rough. She started and quit, or got fired from, 15 jobs. Her credit collapsed. She got married and divorced within a year. By 32, she was lost and exhausted. She read piles of self-help books that weren’t built for her brain and didn’t help.
The Weight of “Potential”
She worked harder than anyone she knew, yet had less to show for it. She barely had time for friends. She blamed herself for not trying enough and felt worn out by a system that never seemed to fit. She was tired of putting more effort into life than everyone else and falling behind.
What happened to all that potential?
Digging Deeper: Research and Realization
She could have given up. Instead, she looked at her behavior and remembered where it starts: the brain. If behavior is brain-based, and her brain has ADHD, then the next step was to understand how and why it still interfered, even with medication, and what else she could do.
Sorting Good Info from Bad
She searched widely and found a mix of resources: research-backed books, medical talks, podcasts, and helpful websites. Much of it was technical or aimed at parents and teachers. Very little targeted adults with ADHD who were trying to make their own lives work.
Starting the Journey
So she created the resource she wished she had. She started a YouTube channel. The name almost became “How Not To ADHD,” but she landed on How to ADHD. Building it, she learned that ADHD is not the same for everyone, that it is not just about distraction, and that success does not require becoming someone else.
Common misconceptions she shed:
- ADHD looks the same for everyone
- It is only about getting distracted
- ADHD explains failure and nothing can change that
- You must change who you are to succeed
Explore her work on the How to ADHD YouTube channel and the companion site How to ADHD.
Unpacking the ADHD Brain
Understanding the brain matters whether you are a manager, a teacher, a parent, a partner, or the one with ADHD. With 5 to 8 percent of the world affected, almost every classroom and workplace includes ADHD brains.
Myths Busted
ADHD is real. It is a neuro developmental disorder with measurable differences in the brain. These differences are larger in children, but for many they persist into adulthood. Diagnosis rates are rising, not because of sugar, screens, or lack of discipline, but because of wider awareness. Girls, adults, and gifted students get recognized more often now. At the same time, not everyone who is hyper or struggles in school has ADHD. Correlation does not equal causation. The numbers sit beside each other without telling you what causes what, as silly as linking swimming pool drownings to Nicolas Cage films.
Why Diagnoses Are Rising
More people now get assessed accurately. Clinicians and families know that ADHD can present quietly, especially in girls or highly verbal kids. Awareness helps, but it also requires care. Labels should follow evidence, not behavior alone.
Real-life risks associated with untreated or undertreated ADHD:
- More accidents
- Greater risk of getting fired
- Higher divorce rates
- Greater likelihood of addiction struggles
It’s a Spectrum, Not a Label
Everyone zones out sometimes. That does not make it ADHD. A diagnosis reflects how many symptoms are present, how often they show up, and how much they impair life across settings. Like depression can be mild or severe, ADHD ranges too.
The Name’s Misleading
“Attention deficit” misses the point. It is not a lack of attention, it is trouble regulating attention. As ADHD coach Brett Thornhill puts it, your brain keeps switching between 30 different channels and somebody else has the remote. Some days you cannot focus at all. Other days you get stuck on one thing and cannot pull away. This pattern ties to how the brain produces and uses neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine.
Treatment: More Than Just Pills
ADHD is highly treatable. Stimulant medication can boost neurotransmitters that support focus and effort. It helps around 80 percent of those who try it.
Beyond Medication
Medication alone is rarely enough. ADHD touches executive functions, the brain’s planning and prioritizing system. It affects motivation, emotion regulation, impulse control, and sleep. It is not a single faulty program. It is the operating system running the whole show.
Helpful Strategies
A mix of supports works best. Cognitive behavioral therapy can build skills and reduce self-defeating patterns. Coaching can turn goals into plans. Meditation and exercise can improve attention and mood. Practical tools help too. Lists support weak working memory. Timers counter a skewed sense of time. External structure makes the invisible, visible.
Areas often affected:
- Planning and prioritizing
- Emotion regulation and impulse control
- Sleep patterns and energy
- Getting started on tasks, not out of laziness, but because of underarousal and executive function gaps
Unexpected Lessons
She also found a community. There are ADHD brains in every country and culture. This tribe is generous, funny, and creative. People with ADHD are 300 percent more likely to start a business. They thrive when work is urgent, ideas are new, problems are challenging, and projects matter to them.
Shifting Self-View
Comparing herself to neurotypical minds made her feel broken. Seeing strengths in other ADHDers helped her see her own. Many do not just think outside the box, they forget there was a box to start with. That lens changes everything.
For another perspective from Jessica, you can watch her TED talk, This is what it’s really like to live with ADHD.
Finding the Ocean: Jessica’s Turnaround
By 33, she had launched a business around the channel. By 34, she had a team of volunteers supporting the work. She was engaged to a partner who also has ADHD and helps produce the videos. She began connecting with schools so kids could learn about their brains earlier. And she took the TEDx stage to share what she learned.
Three Keys to Unlocking Potential
Learn Your Brain
If you judge a fish by how it climbs, you will miss all the swimming. Knowing your wiring, and connecting with people who share it, frees you from the wrong yardsticks and gives you back your confidence.
Find Engaging Work
She found work that fit how her brain fires: urgent, new, challenging, interesting. That match brought out consistent effort. She could be herself and still succeed.
Use Strategies for Challenges
Once you name the challenge, you can choose a tool. The more you look past stereotypes and surface behavior, the more real solutions you can try. For ADHD, that means recognizing underarousal, the difficulty starting, and the gap between intention and action. Then build supports that meet those needs.
Three keys at a glance:
- Know your brain, connect with your tribe
- Find your ocean, work that truly engages you
- Use strategies, and keep tuning them over time
A Message for the ADHD Tribe and Allies
No one is a failed version of normal. If you have ADHD, you are not weird, not stupid, and not lazy. You are different, and that difference can be beautiful. If you work with or love someone with ADHD, look deeper than what you see on the surface. Support the brain, not just the behavior.
Welcome and Next Steps
If You Have ADHD
You are not alone. Join the community and pick up tools that actually fit your brain on the How to ADHD channel and the resource hub at How to ADHD.
If You Know Someone With ADHD
Understand that effort and results do not always line up the same way. Offer structure without shame. Celebrate strengths. Share resources like TEDx events on TEDx to spark helpful conversations.
Conclusion
ADHD is real, common, and highly manageable. The path Jessica shares is simple at its core: learn your brain, match it to the right work, and use strategies every day. The more we replace blame with understanding, the more room there is for growth and joy. If this resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear that they are not alone. And if you are that person, welcome to the tribe.
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