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Friday, September 3, 2021

Parents of Olympic athletes - The 3 traits they have in common

Gold-medal gymnast Suni Lee has called her father her best friend and No. 1 supporter.

Parents of Olympians tend to be active themselves, and not push their kids into any one activity.

They also make significant sacrifices, like missing key life events to be there for their kids.

When three-time Olympic medalist Suni Lee reunited with her family live on national TV Thursday, she gave her dad John a big hug - and her gold medal.

John, who was paralyzed from the chest down after falling off a ladder in 2019, is not Suni's biological dad but the two share a bond that prompted Suni to adopt his last name. He built a balance beam out of wood for her as a kid, and she calls him her No. 1 supporter, best friend, and the reason she does what she does.

"Thank you, I wouldn't be here without you," Suni said on Today.

Olympians' parents rarely get the spotlight, but without their influence - and, often, money and drivers licenses - many athletes would have never made it to Tokyo. As we talked to three parents of Olympians to find out what they have in common.

They're active themselves, and built active households

Darren Marks, father of surfer Caroline Marks, competed in motocross and his wife grew up a triathlete.

They raised their six kids - now aged 10 to 22 - in Florida, where surfing was a regular family activity. While Caroline started out horseback riding, she was drawn to the water by her brothers at age 9. By 10, she was winning East Coast titles, Darren, the CEO of Grom Social Enterprises, said.

Elaine Achterberg, mother of pentathlete Samantha Schultz, said her daughter was on skis the day she turned 1.

"She was standing in [the lift] line with a binky in her mouth," she said. The family also hiked, hunted, and swam. Achterberg has remained active herself, completing triathlons, competing in US Masters Swimming nationals, and planning a seven-day swim along the Dalmatian coast. "Sammy inspires me," Achterberg said.

They don't push their kids toward goals

In her book about a small Vermont town that churns out about one winter Olympic athlete every four years, New York Times sports reporter Karen Crouse found that parents of stars didn't push their kids to work harder or to focus on their goals. They didn't need to.

"Parents who give their children ownership of their sports careers, who are content to ride shotgun for the journey - however long it lasts and wherever it leads - never have to fret about separating their ambition from their children's ambition," Crouse told the Atlantic.

Darren Marks said he and his wife had a similar philosophy with Caroline. "We were very sensitive to not being the soccer mom or dad," he said. "We're good at letting our kids identify what they want to do, and then we come in to support it."

They make significant sacrifices: 'You spend your life in the car'

Achterberg's daughter's specialty, the pentathlon, involves excelling in fencing, swimming, equestrian, running, and shooting. That meant a lot of driving. "You spend your life in the car," Achterberg said, recalling swim meets Schultz would leave early to head to a riding competition.

For the Marks family, supporting Caroline's success meant having at least family member with her for the two years straight she traveled abroad to compete. "She couldn't even rent a car. She couldn't even sign anything under her name," Darren said.

Donna Wettstein, mom of 16-year-old Olympic skateboarder Bryce Wettstein, told traveling with her daughter around the world for events meant missing key life moments like saying goodbye to her sister in the hospital. She also had to sacrifice work as a realtor since she was often out of town.

"I sacrificed everything, as that is what you do when you love someone so much," she said. "Bryce is my best friend. We have made so many friends and have laughed way more than we have cried. They are only young once."

Anna Medaris Miller, BII

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