"The Rabid Revenge List"

 

It was a crisp morning on the farm, the kind where the coffee steams against the cold and the roosters seem to scream just a bit louder than usual.

Jim, a longtime horse owner and proud caretaker of a particularly spirited mare named Bessie, headed to the stables to check on his favorite. He always started his day with her—talking to her like an old friend, sneaking her a carrot or two, and pretending she actually understood his rants about the weather.

But that day wasn’t like the others.

As he slid open the stall door, something was clearly wrong. Bessie, usually calm and curious, was pacing like mad. Her eyes were wild, and foam dripped from her mouth.

Before he could even shout for help, she lunged.

A flurry of hooves, a shriek, and sharp pain later, Jim stumbled back with a nasty bite on his arm. Blood ran down to his wrist, and panic set in.

His wife, Linda, raced off to call the doctor. In the meantime, Jim grabbed a pen and paper and sat down at the kitchen table—his bandaged arm pressed against his chest—writing like a man possessed.

By the time the doctor arrived, Linda returned, breathless, eyes wide.

“Jim!” she exclaimed. “There’s no need to panic. The doctor says it’s not rabies. There’s a vaccine. You’re going to be fine!”

Jim didn’t even look up.

“Thank God,” she sighed. “You don’t need to write your will.”

At this, Jim paused his scribbling, looked up slowly, and said with a completely straight face:

“Will? What will? I’m making a list of people I’m gonna bite.”

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Punchline Meets Personality

That was Jim for you—always the comedian, even in a crisis. The doctor laughed. Linda rolled her eyes. And Jim? Well, he finished the list. Just in case, he said.

It included a childhood bully, a neighbor who always parked too close to their driveway, and—of course—that one guy who never returned his lawn mower.

Reflection

Sometimes, humor is the best medicine—even better than the rabies shot. In the middle of pain, fear, and chaos, the ability to laugh—really laugh—can be the thing that keeps us human.

Jim’s story reminds us that while life throws unexpected curveballs (or biting horses), our outlook can turn panic into punchlines.

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Out Of The Box May 24, 2025